An Indian boy on his first day at school in the US

May be we need light relief, and here goes:

An Indian boy on his first day at school in the US

    It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade.

    The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American History.

    Who said, “Give me Liberty , or give me Death”?

    She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his hand up: “Patrick Henry, 1775” he said.

    “Very good!” Who said, “Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?”

    Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar.” Abraham Lincoln, 1863″ said Chandrashekhar.

    The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed.

    Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!”

    She heard a loud whisper: “F**k the Indians,”

    “Who said that?” she demanded.

    Chandrashekhar put his hand up. “General Custer, 1862.”

    At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”

    The teacher glares around and asks “All right! Now, who said that?”

    Again, Chandrashekhar says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

    Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”

    Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001.”

    The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re fucked!”

    And Chandrashekhar said quietly, “George Bush, Iraq , 2005.”

  1. #1 by Jefus on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 4:57 pm

    Good one!

  2. #2 by k1980 on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 5:04 pm

    Will the hostile & racist attitudes of his classmates force Chandrashekhar to buy a couple of handguns with plenty of ammo and start a turkey-shoot in his school just like Cho Seung-hui did?

  3. #3 by ENDANGERED HORNBILL on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 5:21 pm

    That was light and easy! Much appreciated that even LKS has a light side when the going was tough & heavy.

    Personally, nothing can quite take away the sting of IJOK’s loss. How I wished the Malays, Indians and Chinese voters had been ‘smart’ enough to take all those bribes dished out with the kind of detached maturity and political equanimity, and with unaltered composure, condemn BN for its Machiavellian methods to mastermind such a small victory. This is tragic as it seems now that in Malaysian politics the ends justify the means!

    It is my contention that the Opposition must maintain its integrity at all times, even under such very difficult circumstances. Neither PKR or DAP must stoop to the obscene levels where dogs and pigs screw in public. (You don’t have to visit a dog farm. You see them on the streets. But you should visit a pig’s farm & see the hilarious stupidity of pigs screwing!) For that I say BN’s screwed victory is utterly hollow.

    Come the GE, strategies must change a little to counter the fowl and filthy ways of BN – not by countering shit with muck but by offering the RAKYAT real programs and a credible alternative to good government.

    I think all the racket in IJOK was playing into the hands of the BN mob! Planks and bottles, sticks and stones. Some voters would be put off by the show of incivility and might have voted for fear of violence.

    We must win like a gentleman or there is no pride in winning. We must mass-change the people’s attitudes. LKS and Anwar can do it.

  4. #4 by Billy on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 6:12 pm

    Kit, never knew you have a funny bone in you. Anyway, after the heated Ijok by-election, it is good that you have something for us to simmer down.
    Once again, many thanks for sharing.

  5. #5 by undergrad2 on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 6:16 pm

    It is good comic relief! Never seen a better piece over a long time.

    I think you should seriously consider writing in a similar vein all your experiences with government MPs in Parliament over the many years that you sat there – and still do. I’m quite sure your work will sell like hot cakes especially if you dedicate the proceeds to charity.

    [Oops, forgot to mention that this was emailed to me and not my creation. Kit]

  6. #6 by undergrad2 on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 6:33 pm

    I am gonna make a copy and send it to President Bush and see what he has to say – about the declining standards in the country’s public schools.

    This is a real issue today. I will never send my son to a public school in the U.S. Their high school students know so very little about their own country , their own history and about the rest of the world. They are busy having sex after schools. Either that or they are busy killing each other – and their teachers.

    I got a cousin in one such school who on her first day was horrified to find her classmate with her pet snake in school. This is in the south – redneck country! She asked for transfer.

    Asian students have the reputation of being studious and hard working – for some time now. They tend to be the ‘nerdy’ type. So what if you’re nerdy – if ‘nerdy’ means being studious and serious about what you’re learning. Until of course some messed up Korean suffering from delusions and manic depression comes along and shatter that image forever.

  7. #7 by Jeffrey on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 6:58 pm

    …//…“I am gonna make a copy and send it to President Bush and see what he has to say – about the declining standards in the country’s public schools..//;..” per Uindergrad2.

    But he has already said, “To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say: You, too, can be president of the United States.”

    On the part “Either that or they are busy killing each other – and their teachers” Bush’s quote – “For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It’s just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it!”.

  8. #8 by MY VIEW on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 7:06 pm

    This is a good one. I am still laughing while typing.

  9. #9 by MY VIEW on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 7:10 pm

    If only political parties are so humourous when they are campaigning. Afterall, we are all Malaysians and trying to do our best for the country.

  10. #10 by raven77 on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 7:38 pm

    To achieve political power is a marathon. Badawi knows that Ijok was won only because the ruling party cheated and was able to focus all its resources there. Worse still, as in Sarawak, the Chinese are begining to notice that they are being edged out economically and are now not coy to flex their electoral powers if the need arises. For sure Badawi will not have the same landslide victory as the previous election. But Ijok has shown that, given adequate opportunity, the opposition maybe within striking distance to deny him even his two-thirds majority.Always remember Ijok…so many came to this sleepy hollow from everywhere to lend support so that change can be effected. The ruling party especially the MCA and Gerakan, know that they cannot sleep well now…..the battle for change has begun.

  11. #11 by undergrad2 on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 7:55 pm

    “Oops, forgot to mention that this was emailed to me and not my creation.” Kit

    I thought as much – but this does not change my suggestion that you should seriously consider writing about the lighter side of your experiences as an opposition MP who has had to put up with the antics of government MPs. Since you do not profit from such works and dedicate the proceeds to charity I do not think anyone will have any objection.

  12. #12 by japankiller on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 8:58 pm

    Koh Tsu Khoon said in the Sin Chew, Ijok lost majority of chinese vote despite they have win in by-election yesterday.

    I think this gonna be burning his ass now. And his statement are actually giving a hint to UMNO.

  13. #13 by orchidlah on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 8:58 pm

    Ha ! Ha ! Ha !

    Thank you Mr. Lim for this diversional therapy.

  14. #14 by accountability on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 9:14 pm

    yes yes, thanks for the relief :)

  15. #15 by mob1900 on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 10:56 pm

    anyway, little Chandra go it wrong on the first one, it was Patrick Henry that said the “Give me Liberty , or give me Death!” speech in 1775 at the House of Burghesses during the rise against the Brits.

    Still, funny joke though.

  16. #16 by mob1900 on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 10:57 pm

    sorry, I read wrong. thousand apologies.

  17. #17 by kurakura on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 10:59 pm


    Uncle Kit. Take a rest after Ijok. The opposition tried but we must however we aware of the fact that most Malaysians are not very educated or should I say well informed to understand the big picture. The forumers here cant blame them. Most of them do not even have internet access. And the only information they get are from newspapers that are very much pro-BN.

  18. #18 by megaman on Sunday, 29 April 2007 - 11:33 pm


    anyway, wat abt the so-called busloads of phantom voters ?

    BN won by a margin of 1,850 …
    to be honest it won’t be hard to truck in or bus in several hundreds and make up the rest by just replacing a few ballot boxes …

    I m not making any allegations here but stating my suspicions …

    Anyway, take a break and have a good rest before the major battle ahead … :-)

  19. #19 by int on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 12:03 am

    “Oh shit, we’re fucked!”

    And Chandrashekhar said quietly, “George Bush, Iraq , 2005.”

    Also said by me, Melbourne Australia, yesterday, in response to Machap and Ijok result. FYI.

  20. #20 by int on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 12:24 am

    “I thought as much – but this does not change my suggestion that you should seriously consider writing about the lighter side of your experiences as an opposition MP who has had to put up with the antics of government MPs.”

    sokong! Do it!

  21. #21 by pulau_sibu on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 1:27 am

    Which state is this?

    I heard that in US, when you say Indians, they usually refer to the red Indians.

    And it is very racist to have a title here that includes “Indian”, Chinese or Malay.

  22. #22 by sheriff singh on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 1:56 am

    Do you know that there are now more Indians than Injuns in the US?

  23. #23 by Oldman on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 3:09 am

    “I heard that in US, when you say Indians, they usually refer to the red Indians.” pulau_sibu

    That is correct. More correctly, the red Indians are known as American Indians. People from India are usually referred to as Asians or South Asians. If citizens they can be called Indian Americans (to differentiate from Pakistani Americans, etc).

    That joke is most likely written by an Asian Indian on an ego trip disparaging the American kids. Don’t be mistaken that American kids are stupid. They just have better things to do with their time than to be forced by their parents to memorise every words in the dictionary or historical dates.

  24. #24 by undergrad2 on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 5:25 am

    Indians as in Sitting Bull today number less than 1.0 million in a total population of some 280 million.

    Mexicans, Indians from India (second to Mexicans in ranking). together with Chinese from China, Vietnamese, Filipinos and El Salvadorians and Cubans make up just about 45% of total immigrants for the FY 2001. But in terms of rate of population growth, the Latinos despite their high rate of population growth are overtaken by Asians who make up only 4% of total population but registers a change in rate of population growth of some 40%.

    What you refer to as ‘American Indians’ are more respectfully referred to as ‘native’ Americans – because they are natives in this country which came to be populated by Caucasians from Western Europe. As natives the U.S. government gives them special treatment and special privileges.

    Nobody refers today to native Americans as Red Indians unless you have seen too many John Wayne movies. John Wayne by the way was a red neck from the south. Hollywood stereotyped the native Americans as being barbaric and uncivilized – just the way they stereotype today the Mexicans as being stupid.

    Nothing can be further from the truth.

  25. #25 by firehawk on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 6:15 am

    But what then makes the US so good?

  26. #26 by Jeffrey on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 6:38 am

    Yes, give us a perspective of what’s so good the US as compared to (say) Malaysia with all the bad things. Of particular reference is the homeless sleeping under the viaduct or in substandard housing, those elderly assisted by a Salvation Army volunteers at that organization’s many food centers throughout the United States; those who freeze to death in winter – police corruption drugs are peddled not too far away fromNew York City Police Department head quarters or money politics/lobby and gerrymandering in elections at congressional level……

  27. #27 by undergrad2 on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 9:17 am

    “Yes, give us a perspective of what’s so good the US as compared to (say) Malaysia with all the bad things.”

    The freedom to do bad things…??

  28. #28 by Jeffrey on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 9:41 am

    Sound as good a reason as any since there is no restraint on freedom to do good things, and freedom if it is of any meaning must be in the context you said it. :)

  29. #29 by paix on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 12:32 pm

    What’s so good about the US? For starters, how about the freedom to worship whatever god I choose? I can be a Christian one day, a Jew the next or a Muslim after that. Nobody will come in the middle of the night and arrest me just because I decide to leave one religion and join another.
    There is a strict separation of church and state. No one religion is favored over another. You can marry whoever you choose and nobody cares if you convert or not convert to your spouse’s religion.

  30. #30 by RealWorld on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 3:34 pm

    Dear paix,

    Errr… can you have chinese or tamil schools in US? I mean will their state education board recognise chinese and tamil schools? How about a national holiday during CNY and Deepavali there?

    The last time I was in the States was back in 2004. I went to NYC for a meeting. You should see who is living in the ghettos i.e. blacks. What happened to the American dream?? I see mostly blacks in the ghettos and whites in Hampton Beach.

  31. #31 by ihavesomethingtosay on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 4:02 pm

    Nice one Kit, cool joke, thank you for sharing with us.

  32. #32 by soundbytes on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 4:13 pm

    Uncle Lim KS,

    I have been reading your blog for quite a while but this is the first time I am posting a comment. So, hello to you and all the others. I am 46, and husband of one wife, and father of 4 children.

    Your short story about the ‘smart’ Indian lad in an American school is a good diversion. But seriously, the story reminds me of something desperately wrong with many of our fellow citizens. Many, like the Indian boy in the story, are able to give the answers in a rote manner without the slightest idea of the SPIRIT and CONVICTION that accompany those words.

    For example, those words of Patrick Henry, “… give me liberty, or give me death.’ O, if only the boy knows a little of the spirit and conviction of the man who uttered those words.

    Patrick said these words, “Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!”

    Many in ‘chains’ and ‘slavery’ are able to give rote answers. Many graduates from our high schools scored A for their Moral paper but are without moral fibre. They can recite the Rukun Negara fluently without grasping the sense and momentous principles enshrined in it. They are only indoctrinated with the sound bytes… and not the SENSE and PRINCIPLES. Aesop had said, “Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.” The same go with very many the poly-tick-seances who are already in ‘chain’ and slavery’ to their political boss.

    The same Patrick also said, “Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.”

    With many of our fellow citizens still so addicted to lollypop politic, many would prefer to live in chains and slavery as long as they have lollypop to suck, instead of fighting for liberty for all.

    “Liberty means responsibility. That’s why most men dread it.” –George Bernard Shaw

    We need men with moral integrity and steely conviction like you and Karpal… May your tribe increase in these perilous times.

    fellow patriot

  33. #33 by megaman on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 4:51 pm

    hi realworld,

    y can’t we have chinese or tamil schools in US ?
    Any rules against having a school tat teaches in another language ?
    It could be a private school rite ? Btw, let’s look at the fundamental motivations behind a chinese or tamil school. It is the need and desire to educate the children of their mother tongue and culture. This can be done even without a chinese or tamil vernacular schools. Of coz, whether this is effective or not remains a question but the option is there.

    As for the ppl in the US ghettos ? Have u seen our own version of the ghettos ? Most of the ppl in these ghettos are from a main race African Americans, Hispanics etc etc… it is not becoz the system discriminates against them (at least not legally and institutionalized) .. it is mostly due to history of the race itself (the African Americans were once slaves, remember?) or endemic problems within the communities (drug abuse, gangsterisms etc).

    The prob wif Msia and the biggest difference between Msia and US, are:

    In USA, things that are not correct will never be alright and allowed to made part of law. The press and the society will make sure of tat..
    In Msia, anything goes and anything oso boleh as long as you have the proper political connections and power…

    It’s the institutionalization of improper practices and fundamentally wrong policies in the government, security forces and the society itself tat really pissed off true Msians and disappointed many others to the point of frustrations …

  34. #34 by Jimm on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 6:01 pm

    Well, this joke reminded me about our modern parenting whereby we wouldl ike our kids to be genius especially Chinese parents. Should your kid, holding the role as that Indian boy, you will be smiling away as he really become the product of your choice. Honestly, in no offence manner, most of the Malaysian parents are gearing up their kids to (at least) to become one like that Indian boy. So, these children will grow up as a well-programed memory breed of encyclopedias or dictionaries. They are so well versed with data of history that they cannot see what could be best in store for their future. Ain’t that so true ???

  35. #35 by undergrad2 on Monday, 30 April 2007 - 6:52 pm


    Be careful with your sound bytes! You may get your wish though not the kind you expect.

    “Hidup Melayu! Hidup UMNO!” – who said these words?

    If you want to understand how successful UMNOrites have been all these fifty years in identifying Malay interest with UMNO, think about what you would say when you next want somebody to buy toothpaste for you.

    “Get me Colgate!” I’m assuming of course that you brush your teeth.

  36. #37 by wallygator on Monday, 27 August 2007 - 4:43 pm

    Well all is good but the real issue is about the influx of illegals in our county. We talk about especially the Nigerians & Libians who enter this country legally & decide to over stay in this country permanently.
    How easy it becomes for them to come in this country without any hassle.
    The othe day I was talking to this lady from Cameroon whom I hardly know, was mentioning that it took 100 over policeman to overpower 15 Nigerian men which apperently 8 escaped.
    I dont understand, when you go to Nigeria you need a visa which will cost you USD12.00.
    When you arrive at their airport, you can see the nastiest critters you would ever see on this planet earth.
    They would interogate you like as if you were a convict. Eventhough you were only transitting to another destination.
    So why are we giving so much face to this dangerous people.
    Our authorities dont even check them up to see if they are free from diseases and what not.
    Its bad enough with the heavy influx of Indonesians & Myammar crap thats coming in our beloved country.
    Why doesnt our authorities do something about this before this country becomes a foreign controlled country.
    Africa has the universal of all kinds of diseases that are fatal.

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