Lament of a Stressed-out Minister

By Kee Thuan Chye
Oct 23, 2012

I tell you, it’s tough laa being a minister these days.

We have to take so much shit. From the media, from Facebook, from bloggers, from the Opposition. It was so different when Mahathir was PM. Nobody dared to question any minister then. Nobody wrote a word to criticise. But now …

And it’s not like we make that much money. Our salary is nothing compared to Singapore. Some more, the people don’t appreciate it. They think we are getting kickbacks left, right and centre.

This recent case over Musa Aman getting RM40 million … it’s not him, the money was for Umno. Political donation. What’s wrong with that? PM Najib already said it’s proper. But people still want to make trouble and call it money laundering. Just because Michael Chia got stopped when he was bringing the money out from Hong Kong.

Some more, they are saying Michael has been giving money to Musa’s sons in Australia for a long time. You believe that? They just want to make him look bad laa. They say Musa hasn’t said anything about the RM40 million so far, but can you blame him for keeping quiet?

I think the less said the better. Nowadays, you have to be careful what you say.

Hishammuddin kena after Bersih 3.0. Remember, the media asked him why police were confiscating memory cards from media cameramen and the public? He said, “SOP.” After that, they hentam him kau-kau for talking rubbish. No respect laa. Nowadays, they don’t show ministers respect, I tell you.

We were elected, you know, and appointed by the PM. OK laa, a few were not elected, but a minister must have respect. Otherwise, how to carry out the job properly?

So now we want people to respect us more. That’s why we arrested that young man for showing his backside to the PM and his wife’s photos. Who would have dared to do this to Mahathir when he was PM? We must return to the way we did things, the way we controlled, during his time. I know on social media they are calling us a fascist state but let them call what they like. We have to mean business.

If I were Hisham, I wouldn’t want to be Home Minister. Honestly speaking. You have to take care of national security, crime and, some more, people’s safety. But you just have to say people must be responsible for their own safety against crime and they come back and bash you. You just have to say PKR must realise it is taking a risk going to Johor because it is Umno territory and the online news website distorts your words. They say you said there’s no need to guarantee the safety of PKR in Johor, and how can the Home Minister say that.

Even Borders – Borders, you know. What is it? Only a bookstore. But it is challenging Hisham in court. It is saying he acted irresponsibly. It is saying he is not telling the truth. Over what? Over a deviant book by a Canadian Muslim that Jawi seized from the bookstore. Can you believe that?

No respect, that’s the problem. Poor Yen Yen. At the Himpunan Hijau Raub, some protestors whacked her poster with their shoes. They said it was the Hong Kong style. Why follow the Hong Kong style? It’s not part of our culture.

And poor Tiong Lai finally gave up his chance to get WWW 15 for his car number plate because they kept saying he was using RM24,200 of the people’s money to make a bid for it. But he told them he was entitled to it for free. In the end, he was honourable about it, he gave it up.

See? We are all not bad laa. They still think Tiong Lai is a liar after his bad experience handling the hoo-ha at Tung Shin Hospital during Bersih 2.0, but we’re not always liars … wait! That didn’t come out right. We don’t lie. We don’t lie. PM Najib said it best when he said, “The Government doesn’t know how to cheat the people.”

The people must realise that. They must realise we always try our best. Like Rais. He’s an old-timer. He has served the country so long, but still they hentam him. They made fun of him for writing the lyrics of ‘Janji Ditepati’. OK lah, he’s not a professional songwriter but he has good intentions.

He did so much to make ‘Himpunan Merdeka’ a success, to unite the people in a big celebration, to set a new world record for the number of tweets, and what did they do to him on Facebook? They ran a big picture of him with the caption “The world’s greatest …” I better not say laa. You see? Too much laa these people.

Two years ago, he made that remark about changing his mode and they put it on youtube and made all sorts of funny comments about him. And then they even tried to spin a false story alleging that he raped his Indonesian maid. Tak habis-habis.

They like all this sordid sex stuff. Shafie Apdal also they tried to dirty. Not enough they said he had a mistress. They also said he gave her RM1.5 million over three years.

Remember in the ’80s, there were strong rumours that a deputy minister was connected with the murder of his mistress? Nothing came out on that in the media. It was all just khabar-khabar angin. People didn’t dare come out in the open then. No one was ever charged for the murder. The deputy minister even got promoted to full minister.

But now even Nazri’s son – apa nama? … unh, Nedim – is dragged out in public. They demand to know why no criminal case against the boy for assaulting the condo security supervisor. They said CCTV showed Nedim strangling the man and punching him on the head. But police said CCTV showed Nedim was not involved. Who should you believe? Would the police lie? No way, right? Some more, Hisham has already said the case has been amicably settled. So it’s clear already lah.

Then they want to know about the murder of Darren Kang in 2004. That is old story laa. Police found that Nedim was not involved. And five Thais have already convicted for the murder. Habis cerita. Why are they still focusing on Nazri’s son?

No minister is safe any more laa. Even Najib. When the schoolboy asked him to give an example of Najis Mughallazah at some recent exhibition, there was a video recording of it that went viral – to show the world Najib couldn’t answer. Malu la! I mean malu in that it’s telling the whole world something so trivial. Some more, they played it up. Put on youtube. Said the PM didn’t know shit. What for?

The worst is what they are doing to the grand old man himself. Every time Mahathir says something, he’s sure to kena. Shameful laa the comments they write about him on social media and online news websites. The man is 87 years old. He used to be PM. In our culture, we must respect senior people.

But no. He said American mothers are whores, they hentam. A vote for Pakatan is a vote for Soros, they hentam. It’s okay to give ICs to illegal immigrants in Sabah, they hentam.

And because he said it is better for the people to vote for the devil they know, now people are calling us “devils”.

We are here to serve the people laa. We are not devils.

I don’t know la. If we win GE13 also, we will find it hard to govern after that. Every little thing only, they want to protest in the street. Even with PAA, they don’t care. Police say no, they still come out. For the next five years, they will be fighting us, watching us like hawks. Sometimes, I feel I want to give up.

* Kee Thuan Chye is the author of the bestselling book No More Bullshit, Please, We’re All Malaysians, available in bookstores together with its Malay translation, Jangan Kelentong Lagi, Kita Semua Orang Malaysia.

  1. #1 by yhsiew on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 9:57 am

    ///No minister is safe any more laa.///

    Under the influence of the new media, Malaysians are getting more politically mature by the day. Often, they are not satisfied with superficial explanations given by the minister; they want to pursue the truth. Unfortunately, many ministers and politicians have failed to realized that time has changed – the Internet technology has brought a brand new dimension to people’s thinking and imagination – and failed to keep in pace with modernization brought about by technological advancement.

  2. #2 by SENGLANG on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 10:03 am

    It is a tough job for being an BN minister simply because they have to tell lies to cover themselves. Telling lies is not easy unless you are train to be a professional liars. Now Awang Adek is facing the tough question in Parliament on George Kent MRT job. Now you see how tough to tell lies more so you have to lies on the spot.

  3. #3 by sheriff singh on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 10:20 am

    Kee must have written this during ‘Happy Hours’. What time? Half-past-six, so he hantam these half-past-six ministers kow-kow.

    But he left out the juicy ministers, you know the bottom-pinching one who went on to become an Ambas.ador to the Great Syaitan, no less. Then there is that hair-transplant kokhead sycophant who wants to fulfill his Mahaguru’s crooked bridge dream by building it in Bangladesh instead. And oh, don’t leave out that ex-Minister who just loves to lick to rhyme with his name. He loves KFC too – licking the chicken specifically. Then there is that female cow minister who hasn’t much cows on her ranch but have lots of expensive condos instead. She just cannot read and distinguish between cows and condos. Then there was that Minister who likes to close his eyes all the time even when standing with world leaders. People thought he was in deep thought but he was taking the meaning of ‘sleeping on the job’ to the extreme and finally got fired. And there was that Minister who likes to play poker with the country’s reserves but he betted on the wrong horse. He should have placed his bet on ‘George Soros’ but be betted on ‘Pound Sterling’, the lame horse, instead.

    We sure have a lot of weirdos up there in the kitchen cabinet lined up next to the salt and the masala powder.

    This is why never be a Minister. You are too in the limelight and become a good target. Just be a Deputy Minister and nobody will notice you and you can do all the monkey business you want and nobody will target you – except for that Abang Adek fellow. Deputy Minister Mangledlin who?

  4. #4 by Bigjoe on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 10:27 am

    What so bad compared to average Chinese like me? Chua Soi Lek says I have to worry about Hudud and my hands getting chopped off, my sisters and daugthers being raped by Talibans and then Mahathir says I am a Jew and have to worry about nuclear bomb being sent here or being sent to the gas chambers…

  5. #5 by Cinapek on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 10:38 am

    I was once told by a BN MP that he got into politics because that is the only profession where no minimum qualification is required. As long as you can bodek and bodek well and is able to play money politics well you will go places.

    Apparently, some of our ministers are made of such stuff and I daresay, quite a number of them would not make it past the shortlist for any jobs in the private sector, judging by their dumb utterances and inability to articulate clearly.

  6. #6 by Godfather on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 10:39 am

    No, we are the ingrates. Full stomachs, and still ungrateful. We must be forever grateful to them. Without the billions they siphoned out of the system, there would be no peace. Be grateful.

  7. #7 by Winston on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 12:01 pm

    We have to take so much shit. From the media, from Facebook, from bloggers, from the Opposition. It was so different when Mahathir was PM. Nobody dared to question any minister then. Nobody wrote a word to criticise. – End of quote

    Well, well, well.
    Firstly, during Mamak’s time, the Internet was not so wide spread.
    Unlike now, every vile deed of the regime is broadcasted far and wide.
    Also, Mamak was very willy!!!
    He knew that Malaysians have short memories.
    And he capitalised on that to the hilt!!!!!
    No matter what scams and scandals he caused, he just kept quiet and let things blew over.
    After a few weeks, things are back to normal and he could carry on giving Malaysians more of the same old, same old!!!!
    And the tactics were repeated over and over for twenty-two years!!!
    The current bunch are outright stupid.
    They refresh the memories of the electorate by rehashing their own vile deeds and try to plant them on the opposition!!!
    With the widespread use of the Internet, the electorate are constantly reminded of the tactics of these scums and are getting more incensed by the day.
    Even when the GE is so close, there is no let up at all!!!
    They are still at it 24/7!!
    They are working very hard at their very own downfall!!!!

  8. #8 by monsterball on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 1:21 pm

    Who is this kuchin kurup Minister?
    ever heard of him… here la there…complaint complaint…like a small boy.
    If these Umno B futs think under Mahathir….no complaints…then they are more idiotic not to have him back as PM.
    He writes like a school boy with a poisoned mind.

  9. #9 by sheriff singh on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 1:47 pm

    ‘Stressed-out’ ? I am surprised that any one of them is actually ‘stressed-out’ in 1Malaysia.

    With the gravy train chugging along nicely, what is there to be stressed-out about? Is Nazri stressed-out? No. He even has time for kok-tok. Is Rais ‘stressed-out’? He just changes his mode and mood and everything’s OK. Is Naj1b stressed-out? No he just ‘transform’ himself into a fairy and the media is all praise for him, even fabricates for him.

    So whats this minister all stressed-out for? He got problem with his mistress? He don’t know which house to go to tonight? Sleepless in Kuala Lumpur? Really? There are many people who envy this ‘stressed-out’ Minister and who don’t mind being in his shoes and be ‘stressed-out’ in his place. If this minister has got problems, he should go see Raja Nong Chik or Liow Tiong Lai for help.

  10. #10 by boh-liao on Wednesday, 24 October 2012 - 4:29 pm

    Garbage in, garbage out, but d sad sad thing is garbage sapu salaries n perks paid 4 by rakyat

  11. #11 by ringthetill on Thursday, 25 October 2012 - 1:34 am

    those politicians who are not up to the job should just quit. being rakyat’s representatives they should always remember that and act in the interests of people who vote then in. of course nowadays they are under greater scrutiny, and often have to act in accordance with the whip and not through their thinking/heart. remember in this day and age, people expects and wrongdoings will eventually be told. so your name and dignity are at stake.

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