Kangaroos in full view

by Goh Keat Peng

Once thought to only exist in Australia, we now know better. In fact, even in Australia, these unique animals are more easily spoken about than viewed. In the sixties when on my first visit to that country, I was on the farm outside Perth and my hosts felt it their bounden duty to show this young Malaysian the real thing. So I was put on the front seat of the Land Rover and literally taken for a ride. The powerful vehicle went all over the bush land, in and out of large holes in the ground but eighty minutes of focused search found not a single one of those fascinating animals. The only real kangaroo I could speak of was the one on the lunch table which I partook of only after much coaxing by the gracious hostess!

How was I to know that in this day and time, to view kangaroos, any Malaysian or for that matter any visitor to our land, need not take the Air Asia flight to Australia nor get into a powerful Land Rover. Here in Kuala Lumpur, they need not even have to make their way to the zoo. They need to just go to Jalan Duta.

There, to your surprise, you will see varieties of kangaroos performing to a full gallery and taking on the worse human antics of all- going through the motion of convincing people in and outside the country that a fair procedure is indeed taking place which meets all ethical standards and rule of thumb which we can all be proud of.

With due apologies to those fair Australian creatures, the local variety is not very convincing. In fact many of them may be thought to be distinctly non-functioning. It could be that not unlike their Australian cousins they are nocturnal creatures and therefore could be excused if their performance isn’t very convincing during a given day.

Whatever the reason, we the watching and hearing public deserve to see some better performance now before the whole thing becomes a complete farce which outsiders will not be kind enough to overlook.

  1. #1 by Godfather on Wednesday, 24 November 2010 - 1:36 pm

    I wonder if Goh is referring to the Kangaroo courts or the Kangaroo Parliament.

    Ethical standards ? Rule of Thumb ? These concepts are alien to Malaysian kangaroos.

  2. #2 by Jeffrey on Wednesday, 24 November 2010 - 2:54 pm

    Good that Goh Keat Peng gives due apologies to this much maligned marsupial.
    Just because they can jump 5-10 feet, they are likened to people who make great leaps of logic – legal or otherwise – which is perceived resulting in wrong conclusions and in cases of trial injustice.

    Appropriately also unlike other fourlegged mammals, kangaroos cannot walk backwards: therefore human kangaroos also cannot, “kostan” to correct mistakes they make. That’s make the farce! Think about it,

    I have said before and will say again: think (strategically) of what one’s to achieve. Don’t be ambivalent. Is this whole thing to uphold heterosexual norms or moral code? I don’t think so. I see homosexuals, bisexuals lesbians transsexual everywhere, kept harmless from any official harassment. And when one selectively chooses, the prime witness contradicts the charge. He says he is coerced. The charge says its consensual. Which is which? Then whereas customarily one looks for proof of penetration here, one terbalik looks for DNA/sperm to prove penetration.

    The whole world is watching whether we’re civilized abiding by rule of law or hopping around in Frontier like Kangaroos. Surely if sodomy I were a debacle, then II is not to be trifled with, it can turn out a bigger one, unless one’s very sure of the strategic focus and objective. Is it to embarrass or to really punish/convict? It cannot be neither here or there. The latter option is point of concern: waves of sympathy makes the one on the dock twice martyred and next GE precarious. If the former objective, its not really working….

    Ultimately it is the Court of Public & World’s Opinion that will be final arbiter. So first thing first, if it were my call, whatever Defence wants, I give lah! This gives good impression. Don’t forget what Mat Zain Ibrahim just disclosed has direct bearing!

    What’s the problem of clinical notes if Truth & Justice for the defendant in whose favour the system is supposed to be tilted were the prime considerations and not some fancy idea of playing fair referee to tactical strategies of two proxy boxers (legal eagles) in the adversarial ring? It’s missing (as usual) the Woods for the Trees, so to speak, by which comparison chances one will lose his way.

    People downline esp have no inkling of whether they should look at trees or whole forest geography. They look only at themselves – how they fare, what they say or what they do, personal success or failure as they see it without quite understanding the bigger picture of what is the real success or failure of the Original Venture or Project and its RoadMap, so to speak, when it was first decided to be launched with considerable political risks of where fall out will eventually be.

  3. #3 by ENDANGERED HORNBILL on Wednesday, 24 November 2010 - 4:08 pm

    Kangaroos are funny!
    Like the platypus, “Ah, don’t let ‘im go running amok…”.

    “Rolf Harris Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport lyrics”

    There’s an old Australian stockman lying, dying. He gets himself up onto one elbow and ‘e turns to his mates, who are all gathered around and ‘e says:

    Watch me wallabies feed, mate
    Watch me wallabies feed,
    They’re a dangerous breed, mate
    So watch me wallabies feed
    Altogether now!

    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down
    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down

    Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
    Keep me cockatoo cool
    Ah, don’t go acting the fool, Curl
    Just keep me cockatoo cool
    Altogether now!

    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down
    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down

    ‘n’ take me koala back, Jack
    Take me koala back
    He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac
    So take me koala back
    Altogether now!

    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down
    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down

    Let me abos go loose, Lew
    Let me abos go loose
    They’re of no further use, Lew
    So let me abos go loose
    Altogether now!

    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down
    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down

    And mind me platypus duck, Bill
    Mind me platypus duck
    Ah, don’t let ‘im go running amok, Bill
    Just mind me platypus duck
    Altogether now!

    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down
    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down

    Play your didgeridoo, Blue
    Play your didgeridoo
    Ah, like, keep playin’ ’til I shoot thru, Blue
    Play your didgeridoo
    Altogether now!

    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down
    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down

    Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred
    Tan me hide when I’m dead
    So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde
    And that’s it hangin’ on the shed!!
    Altogether now!

    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down
    Tie me kangaroo down, sport
    Tie me kangaroo down

  4. #4 by dagen on Wednesday, 24 November 2010 - 4:57 pm

    So what’s the attraction? Yes, our duta kangaroos. What is so special about them. This crucial point must must be emphasised. For marketing purposes. Transformation. Or evolution, if you would rather prefer. Our kangaroos have evolved. Our kangaroos walk like humans. And speak to each other using a certain language. And they dont leap very much. I have not seen any leaping duta kangaroo!

  5. #5 by ktteokt on Wednesday, 24 November 2010 - 5:00 pm

    I am wondering were these guys sitting on the bench today born like worms (as kangaroos are) and raised in their mummies’ pouch?

  6. #6 by johnnypok on Wednesday, 24 November 2010 - 6:40 pm

    Rice Anak yatim is a kangaroo, and there are many kangaroos in bolehland that looks like retarded HP6 human-beings.

  7. #7 by tak tahan on Wednesday, 24 November 2010 - 9:07 pm

    Does kangaroo give births alot?Sound scary and nightmare.

  8. #8 by ktteokt on Wednesday, 24 November 2010 - 10:11 pm

    Kangaroos were at one time hunted for their meat which was exported. I have seen Malaysian Chinese sausage manufacturers importing Australian kangaroo meat in frozen form. That was during the peak in kangaroo population!!!!

  9. #9 by raven77 on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 12:14 am

    Almost every Malaysian judge has regressed to a human toad that Darwin failed to discover at the Galapagos….

    The only difference is that the kangaroo in Ozzieland is much more evolved…nay respected compared to the spineless creeps that crawled into Bolehland calling themselves today as Judges…

    As much as fellas like Azahari were cursed for blowing up innocent people in Indonesia, etc…we need such an exterminator to clean up our benches…

    It makes you wonder about unfinished British buisness..they should have stuck to the Malayan Union..

    If MacArthur was allowed to clean up North Korea then, there wouldnt be a North Korea today..a problem left unattended will always linger…until one day it becomes incurable…

  10. #10 by boh-liao on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 2:28 am

  11. #11 by monsterball on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 4:11 am

    Nazri is a rare kangaroo with two heads.
    Najib is an idiotic kangaroo that sweat alot…very poor body system..hot inside…cold outside.
    And downunder…..you cannot sing “tie me kangaroo” and drink beer like a fish…you are a useless bloke.

  12. #12 by monsterball on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 4:20 am

    And they are not drunkards.
    They need to learn and hold drinks to keep body warm….during winter seasons.
    Here guys drink to show off and make fools of themselves..or have such an inferiority complex…that needs fire water to put on a bold front.
    Kangaroos from Jalan Duta can drink and perform their shows..very well.
    Aussies kangaroos have no chance with our smarter kangaroos.
    Malaysia Boleh!

  13. #13 by wanderer on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 8:56 am

    “The ZOO of UMNO Justice” the new home for the bolehland kangaroos!…with a monkey judge thrown in, local and authentic.

  14. #14 by k1980 on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 9:47 am

    Those creatures Goh saw are not kangaroos. They are crocodiles, which would swallow you up the moment they get the chance. Go ask TBH if that is true.

  15. #15 by dagen on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 12:07 pm

    boing. boing. boing.


    boing. BOING. boing. boing. BOING. boing. boing. BOING.

    … two kangaroos leapt past dagen – one is a fat kangaroo and the other a very fat kangaroo.

  16. #16 by k1980 on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 2:39 pm

    The name for the Australian Marsupial Kangaroo came about when some of the first white settlers saw a strange animal hopping along and they asked the Aborigines what it was called. They replied with ‘Kanguru’, which in native language meant, ‘I don’t know.’

    So the AG and the mamak who are always answering ‘I don’t know’ should be herded into the zoo and exhibited as kangaroos.

  17. #17 by limkamput on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 4:51 pm

    What can we expect from the very beginning? A non Kangaroo trial? One after another those expert witnesses “refused” to look at the notes when answering questions. What is the logic? Is it an offence to ask the witnesses to behave in certain way and in the process hide certain material information?

  18. #18 by limkamput on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 5:03 pm

    Anybody with some common sense would know by now that most probably the notes [recorded by the doctors] contain information that is advantageous or beneficial to the accused. So can we then disclose some information to the court which is detrimental to the accused and withhold some that is to his benefit when the information disclosed and withheld is from the same source? Hope some of you smart lawyers or wannabes can enlighten me. Very often I find laws and court procedures not able to serve justice. Sometimes they protect the accused, sometimes they victimise the accused, depending on how we use them.

  19. #19 by Cinapek on Thursday, 25 November 2010 - 7:00 pm

    While the Ozzie kangaroo does not hurt people, the local version hurts and destroy lives without blinking an eyelid.

    And while the Aussie kangaroo is loved and welcomed anywhere else in the world, the local version can only survive in Malaysia. They have suffered a genetic mutation known as “ketuanan” manipulated by this world renowned agency known as BTN and thus their antics cannot survive outside of Malaysia’s shores.

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