While you people in Bolehland have many things to complain about, you have not ponder to count your blessings. You are too negative. Look things at the positive angle. When compared to our southern neighbour, Singapore, we are truly very fortunate indeed.

While Singapore continues to add up more world-class achievements to their laurels, this is normal and expected. Anything that is predictable is not exciting. Life needs to be unpredictable and full of fun.

In Singapore everything is so clinical, tidy and well-oiled; and mind you, there are many things that Singaporeans cannot do that the denizens in Bolehland can. Try throwing a cigarette butt in the street and you would fined immediately. In Bolehland we can throw all types of rubbish in the streets, in the drains, in the rivers, in the parks and we can still live happily without being burdened with fines.

In Singapore the politicians are very predictable and dull. They are efficient, their hand are very clean, they are intelligent and of high caliber, and they don’t talk rubbish in Parliament. So what? It’s all predictable and dull and that is expected of them. But in Bolehland we don’t need to have politicians of high caliber and intelligence, but they must be colourful. We have all types of animal species in our politicians: orang hutang, monyets, monkeys, tigers, lions, kataks and ulars. In Parliament we can see all types of animal antics from such colorful characters such as Nasri, Bung Moktar, Khairy, Botak Hamid, and the Sleepy Beauty who can sleep peacefully while pandemonium broke out in the august house. Do you find such entertainment in the Singaporean parliament? And best of all, it’s being televised live for all the people in Bolehland to enjoy.

Singaporean politicians are not allowed to amass anything that they cannot account for. Not so in Bolehland. Politicians especially of the UMNOputra breed can grab everything and anything that they can lay their hands on and it’s legal because the Anti-corruption Agency can never find any dirt on them. One colourful character is Zakaria Deros of the Klang istana fame. From a humble gatekeeper, this guy can run rings around the local authorities and boss over everyone in power. He can even make a monkey of the Sultan of Selangor and holiday in Malacca when he said that he was sick and cannot meet the Sultan when summoned. Singaporean politicians are really green with envy since they cannot practice such hanky-panky and go scot-free in efficient and squeaky-clean Singapore.

We have entertainments and circuses aplenty all year round in Bolehland. We have the sequel of the Great Sodomy trial – all with the same plot, the same characters, and a new star: Saiful who peddle his asshole to the DPM and got top billing in the Pematang Puah by-election. However, part of his fame was stolen from under his asshole when the imam who presided over his swearing revealed that Saiful is a fake! Then we have the 40 BN politicians who jumped out from Anwar Ibrahim fishing-net and escaped to Taiwan to learn the science of agriculture and came back with nothing to show of their expensive trip, which was sponsored by the good people of Bolehland.

Next, the big jam-up of the traffic in Kuala Lumpur and Selangor based on faulty intelligence of the police. There was no demonstation as blown up in the MSM and there was no arrest. But the people of Bolehland wasted million of gallons of expensive petrol in the wake of the great hike of petrol prices. Prices spiralled out of control with this hike and yet remained in the stratosphere even after oil prices drop like a ton of bricks 3 months later.

Accompanying this development is the murder of a Mongolian beauty. Only in Bolehland, the chief suspect decided to swear on the koran and the long arm of the law was checked and stopped in its tracks. Try that in Singapore? Well, criminals in Bolehland are very fortunate indeed.

And the most unexpected thrill of all was when the people of Bolehland woke up one fine morning in March and found that the undestructible BN Titanic that have ruled the Malaysian waters for half a century struck a coral reef and is sinking fast. The sky suddenly became clear and the air became less suffocating. Malaysians were walking more briskly with an unseen bounce in their stride. This was the most exhilarating experience that Malaysians have enjoyed in a long, long time.

Singaporeans are still stuck with their old and trusted PAP Bismarck. How unfortunate!

If indeed there are any awards that Bolehland can win we can sweep all the Oscars presented by Hollywood and Bollywood combined. It’s no accident that Malaysia is better known under the moniker of Bolehland – the land where everything is possible.

There are still many exciting tales to regale but I think I will leave the rest to others to relate.

“On the other hand, someone cannot be regarded as extremely civic-minded just because he/she scared of getting fined. Can we still consider someone as first class society when he/she starts speeding on the highway and sometimes littering on our streets? I thought civic minded people will consistently behaving responsibly and naturally no matter where they are.” – cintanegara

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In Bolehland there is life and colour unlike Singapore which is too sterile and insipid for many of its citizens. So every weekends we have thousands of Singaporeans pouring into Malaysia to sample its wonders.

I have a Singaporean friend who like to remark that the rivers in Malaysia are full of character unlike in Singapore where he doesn’t see any appreciable changes in the character of the rivers: they are all the time sparkling clear and it’s nothing to shout about. But rivers in Bolehland has their temperaments: one moment they would be like tea-tarik, the next moment they would turn into kopi-o, or Milo or chengdol green.

Singaporean when they are in their home country would be very docile and work their butt out like rats. Everything they do they have to watch out for Big Brother. This thing tak boleh; that thing tak boleh; everything tak boleh. That why they are very well-behaved.

Once they are in Bolehland they will literally let their hairs down. They are out of the watchful eyes of Big Brother and they will quickly transformed themselves into Bolehlanders. “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” is what they took to heart. What they cannot do in Singapore now they will do in double gusto. Yes, everything now would be “Boleh”. They will throw out all types of rubbish everywhere; they will break all traffic rules; they will spit here, there and everywhere; and they become very kiasu and turned into ugly Singaporeans. Of course they have to go back home after the weekends. To them Fridays are “Thank God, it’s Friday”, and Mondays will be “Moody Blue”.

Singaporeans do agree that Bolehland is the place to be anytime. However their ministers are warning them to tighten their belts because the economic tsunami will be descending hard on them. But in Bolehland they haven’t heard such dire message yet!

All over the world, people are bracing for a recession. Not so in Bolehland. Our top-rated economists and ministers have declared that Bolehland is immuned and can carrry on business as usual. So we people in Bolehland are very fortunate that our great and wise leaders have not needlessly frightened everyone out of their wits. Carry on, happy people of Bolehland while the whole world sinks and quakes in a state of depression and fear. We are the envy of everyone.