Let’s ban the purple dinosaur

A tongue-in-cheek piece
by Sheela R

It takes so little to offend these days. Be it a movie, a book, an artwork or even a rock concert, it has become almost fashionable to denounce slightest aberration to our perceived high moral standards.

I for one, am deeply offended by the sight of a particular purple dinosaur, making its appearance on pre-schoolers’ television programmes. Let me elucidate with well-thought-out points, one by one.

It is purple in colour. It is a well-known fact from Stephen Spielberg’s movies that dinosaurs are brown and perhaps yellow, but definitely not purple. (Well he is as good an authority as any other and, being Malaysian, you will surely excuse me for the shoddy and completely unsubstantiated research.) We are misleading pre-schoolers with this erroneous fact and worse, there lies a danger that they may grow up wanting to dress as gender-neutral purple dinosaurs. Do I detect a certain derision in you? Well I am merely following the example set by our well-meaning officials, who choose to ban performing artists on account of their dressing, for fear of corrupting our Malaysian youth with their sartorial tastes.

An offensive theme song sung by the dinosaur at the end of every episode, mentions the word “love”. Being Malaysian, it is my right to presume that the mere mention of this unmentionable word will lead unsuspecting youngsters into the wicked, wicked world of unbridled lust and vice. You might even roll your eyes and exclaim that one should view this supposedly offensive word in the context of the entire song. Well, why should I bother with context, when our ever-vigilant officials don’t? After all, they see it fit to ban music groups because of their purportedly satanic lyrics, never mind that their songs, in the broader sense, are all about world peace, justice and anti-war.

This dinosaur’s rotund belly demeans my religion. How in the world is that possible, you may howl. Never mind how, if I deem it so, then it is. Just look at what gives rise to an insult towards one’s religion these days, from alphabets to canines, porcines, bovines, envelopes, paintings, etc, it would be completely un-Malaysian if I did not find something to infuriate me.

If you are offended by my statements, I, in a true Malaysian fashion, admonish you to leave the country. As for me, I have my eyes set on another. You can accuse me of acquiring a new target to villify, for all I care. Rumours are that there is a giant yellow bird which is infiltrating tender Malaysian minds and making them lose their faith. Now, I am sure this big bird is the product of a Zionist conspiracy, but that is a subject I which I shall reserve for another day.

  1. #1 by Di Shi Jiu on Friday, 6 September 2013 - 1:26 pm

    Sheela R,

    ROFLMAO :)

    I am just glad you left out the relationship between Kermit and Miss Piggy…. ooopppsss… maybe I should not have drawn attention to Kermit’s secret?? :)

  2. #2 by Bigjoe on Friday, 6 September 2013 - 4:14 pm

    No, lets ban Hang Jebat and Hang Tuah – they had a love-hate relationship – could it be they swing the other way?

  3. #3 by Bigjoe on Friday, 6 September 2013 - 4:17 pm

    Better yet, lets lock up Mahathir and throw away the keys because he acts no different than Zionist and hardliners in Israel but against Chinese, Sabahan, Anwar, his deputies, etc that he is can only be a sleeping agent of the Isreal/America and will sell us to them once he owns it all..

  4. #4 by worldpress on Friday, 6 September 2013 - 9:33 pm

    GO HOME dinosaur, better go back old time

    You think the God is exclusive rights to you.

    Who you think you are, you mean God only created you other is not God creation

  5. #5 by sheriff singh on Friday, 6 September 2013 - 10:42 pm

    You want to ban SMURFs as well ?

  6. #6 by sheriff singh on Friday, 6 September 2013 - 10:50 pm

    Let us all take a break and go take a puff.


  7. #7 by Noble House on Saturday, 7 September 2013 - 4:34 am

    It’s a good laugh, isn’t it? The new education blueprint is targeting “world class” students and graduates in years to come. I hope the yardstick they will be measured by isn’t from these examples :-)

    Just like the see through pink bra that Lady Gaga puts on, these people must be wearing pink underwears similarly. But I tend to prefer the earlier…..LOL!!!

  8. #8 by lee tai king (previously dagen) on Saturday, 7 September 2013 - 10:21 am

    … umno.

    Endless Possibilities.
    Unlimited Stupidity.

  9. #9 by lee tai king (previously dagen) on Saturday, 7 September 2013 - 10:51 am

    Stop fantasising. Lets get real. I hv an actual situation to relate. My son has a plastic dinasour from toyrus. Many of you people must have seen one of such toy before, I am sure. Its pretty large. Close to two-foot in height. And believe me. Its one costly toy.

    Anyway. My son asked me whether his dinasour is (yes you guessed it right) male or female. “Male” was my initial reply. And of course I could not substantiate that reply upon his further query of “How do you know?” “Actually, I cant” was an answer which quite obviously did not excite him very much.

    Ouch! Heck! There is a dent in my ego. Well whatever.

    But that made me curious like hell. Look people. Cats (big and small and medium ones too) and dogs, yeah, they all live during our times. So tell me who amongst you have not seen a real dog’s (or cat’s for that matter) genital before? But dinasour? Even my great great great great grandfather has not seen one. And I am pretty certain of that.

    So I googled for the answer. And know what? Dr Jones has no idea too. With or without his hat on, he too does not have the answer. And the reason appears to be that soft tissues unlike bones (which is absent in genitals) do not get fossiled. What the … So in short dinosaurs left no signs of their gender behind. Of course there are other ways archealogist could sort that issue out. For instance by studying the bone structure of the fossiled hip. But lets not get into it here.

    And the issue now is this. Those toy dinos are gender neutral. That is the problem. And they cause confusion to little children and adults alike. The confusion would, in time, numb and then change malaysians’ idea on gender. You know from man is man and woman is woman to man and woman and woman and man and finally to wo-man for man is woman and woman is man. And that is frightening.

    So umno, can you pls ban the sale of all genderless toy animals.

  10. #10 by lee tai king (previously dagen) on Saturday, 7 September 2013 - 10:57 am

    Six months after the ban.

    “Toy Dinos with real life like genitals on sale.”

    “Available in all ToyZus stores nationwide.”

    Yeah. Only in malaysia!

    Endless Possibilities.
    Unlimited Stupidity

  11. #11 by lee tai king (previously dagen) on Saturday, 7 September 2013 - 11:01 am

    Six months after introducing the toy dinos with real life like genitals.

    Special News report: “All ToyZus stores are experiencing an acute shortage of toy dinos with life like female genitals. ‘Apparently even adults like them’, said an unnamed store keeper.”

    Endless possibilities.
    Unlimited Stupidity.

  12. #12 by lee tai king (previously dagen) on Saturday, 7 September 2013 - 11:06 am

    Hoi, sheriff, u want one?

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