Moooving Tales in Bolehland!

By Martin Jalleh

Q: What is the nation suffering from at this moment?
A: Cowburn Mooonoxide!

Q: What are the twists and spins given by the bosses of the National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) scandal called?
A: Mooodifications!

Q: Who was the then Agriculture minister who dubiously awarded the project to the incompetent Shahrizats in 2006 and initially said he saw “nothing unusual or anything wrong” with the project and passed the buck to current minister Noh Omar to answer further questions?
A: DPM, Mooyiddin!

Q: The Shahrizats has no cattle-rearing experience whatsoever?
A: Yes, they were moo-clue-less!

Q: And they were given RM250 million in soft government loans meant to develop a cattle project but ended up buying luxury apartments and a Mercedes, and going on expensive overseas trips?
A: Yes, a very mooortifying fact for the country in hard economic times!

Q: What was the PM’s initial response in Parliament over the scandal?
A: Najib said it was doing mooovellous! There was no wrongdoing. Production will soon increase to “12,000 cattle from 6,000 previously”.

Q: How can one describe in a word current Agriculture Minister Noh’s initial denial in parliament of any impropriety in the award of the project and even calling the project a “success”?
A: Mooonshine!

Q: What about Umno Youth leader Khairy Jamaluddin, who strenuously defended the project initiated during his father-in-law’s premiership and in trying to douse the growing national anger?
A: Sheer mooollifying!

Q: What can be said of Shahrizat’s long and lame logic that there was no conflict of interest?
A: Mooonologues!

Q: What did the cows say of Shahrizat’s lame excuse: “I am only the wife of the NFC boss!”
A: Moooshit!

Q: MACC’s failure to take any action against the bosses (the husband and children of Shahrizat) in spite of the growing and overwhelming evidence of the misappropriation of public funds, is called?
A: Mooockery!

Q: What did the Minister in the PM’s Department, Nazri Aziz exhibit when he declared that the NFC has “breached its loan conditions…The money that was meant for the cattle industry was used for something else”.
A: A mooodicum of intelligence!

Q: Nazri advice that the best way to resolve the issue without having Shahrizat resign is for her family members who are involved in the project to repay the RM250 million soft loan?
A: Moooronic, to say but the least!

Q: How can Noh Omar’s insistence that he did not know if the NFC breached loan conditions as suggested by Nazri Aziz, be viewed as?
A: Pure “moooyang kulit”

Q: What did Najib whisper to Shahrizat whilst hinting to her to step down?
A: Moooderation!

Q: What was the angry Shahrizat’s reply?
A: Mooodesty! Tell Rosmah that when she goes on her shopping trips!

Q: What could have been Shahrizat’s favourite childhood game?
A: Mooonopoly!

Q: What did Dr M and Rafidah advise Shahrizat?
A: Time to mooove!

Q: How has the Opposition viewed the NFC scandal?
A: It has been moousic to their ears!

Q: How has the NFC scandal affected Umno?
A: It has made it look more and more like a moooribund party!

Mooore next time! -mj

  1. #1 by monsterball on Wednesday, 15 February 2012 - 7:34 pm

    The cow story is hilarious.
    Shahrizat stand is simple…I go…some must follow.
    Najib is in frenzy state…don’t know what to do.
    The heat is on.

  2. #2 by monsterball on Wednesday, 15 February 2012 - 7:56 pm

    Caught with their pants down…the amount of idiotic reasons and nonsense spoken to cover up is like a unbelievable.
    Yes….keep denying…keep talking nonsense…as the power to arrest or set free are all with them…caring two hoots whether Malaysians like it or not.
    Smart cunning Mahathir said….if you don’t
    like what’s going on…don’t vote for BN.
    What he really mean is that corruptions are there…live with it…accept it or cast your votes against the Govt.
    Sounds gentlemanly comment….but underneath it all…he knows too well….fair play in the ballots are not there.
    He is the master of all things crooked and the plan to win 13th GE by crooked ways…is the trademark of his legacy.

  3. #3 by boh-liao on Thursday, 16 February 2012 - 1:06 am

    CAN’T blame d moonificent cow family got DRUNKEN with so much CASH which they tot was theirs once given 2 them, softloan or not

    What we r witnessing is EVOLUTION in PROGRESS: d diminishing BRAIN
    Papa n mama cattle had a wonderful eazi luxury living, no brainer type
    Offspring born with golden spoon in their ‘Rse NO need 2 think too, BRAIN undergoes dystrophy, n they mooed rubbish

  4. #4 by monsterball on Thursday, 16 February 2012 - 7:50 am

    Now Najib said…Malaysians can take to the streets and express themselves . It’s their rights.
    This is another 180% turnabout by him.
    And he said “1Malaysia” logo is not political.
    Get rid of the shit…before taking breakfast.
    Good morning to all.

  5. #5 by dagen wanna "ABU" on Thursday, 16 February 2012 - 8:07 am

    Meanwhile the plot thickens.

    It was reported that raja nong chik was the whistleblower. He blew sharizat’s cover off not in the interest of the nation but in order to knock the cow-woman off the lembah pantai constituency so that he, chik, could fill the vacancy.

    Are we witnessing a case of hantu vs hantu? Pretty much like it, huh, if you ask me!

    ps. The report was by raja petra – the guy who seems to have deviated lately on certain issues.

  6. #6 by Bigjoe on Thursday, 16 February 2012 - 8:17 am

    You can literally feel Najib’s exasperation with this issue. From keeping silent over the affair he now declares that Shahrizat’s future is his to decide- the problem is a good leader WOULD ALREADY HAVE DECIDED.

    Its clear that the issue is just dragging out because UMNO/BN is divided. Its not about doing the right thing but about doing the winning thing – who wins, who loses. Hence its really already too late for UMNO/BN on this issue. Even if Shahrizat quits immediately, the fact is its got nothing to do with the right thing and the people continue to be betrayed regardless.

  7. #7 by k1980 on Thursday, 16 February 2012 - 8:21 am

    What did saifool bookhali say to Chua SL?

    Moo please, aaah moo, darlin’.

  8. #8 by Loh on Thursday, 16 February 2012 - 5:03 pm

    monsterball :
    The cow story is hilarious.
    Shahrizat stand is simple…I go…some must follow.
    Najib is in frenzy state…don’t know what to do.
    The heat is on.

    Najib said that he alone decides whether Shahrizat stays or goes. Najib clearly dares not tell Shahrizat to go else she chooses to tell all. Has Najib anything to hide? Does Najib care to hide?

  9. #9 by Loh on Thursday, 16 February 2012 - 5:21 pm

    ///Curtin University says the use of the term ‘first lady’ for Rosmah Mansor had offended some people and it promised not to repeat it.///–Malaysiakini

    Curtin University has more to apologize than this.

  10. #10 by Taikohtai on Friday, 17 February 2012 - 7:44 am

    Its Linsanity in New York
    Moosanity in NFC
    Hasanity in Malaysia

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