Malaysian Circus goes to Washington

by Martin Jalleh

For a little more than a month in 2010 Umno has gone full steam with its scare tactics, saber-rattling tricks, silly threats and sinister theatrics. Now it is all set to take the Malaysian (political) circus to the US and to show Uncle Sam a far “superior” sample of democracy and governance.

The trip is by courtesy of Apco Worldwide, a global PR firm, employed by the government to resuscitate, redeem, and re-engineer the PM’s flagging image at about RM20 million. The firm has allegedly offered similar services to dictators and corrupt leaders worldwide. They must feel very at home here in dealing with the “most corrupt institution in the country”.

But why is Umno off to the US with its best circus clowns to impress the US when they just told those lowdown politicians in Down Under that to Umno it is a no-no to interfere in the affairs of Bolehland? Why waste the people’s money and be bothered about what the US thinks of us? Alas, the answer to such a mystery belongs only to those who can go the lowest.

The circus will be hosted by the Center for Strategic and International Studies. The man behind it is (Ernie) Bower in partnership with a (Karen) Brooks. Both have boasted about their close bond with ASEAN leaders. However they insist they are not beholden to Southeast Asian governments nor would they act as a lobby group or agents for them in Washington.

Surely Bower and Brooks can come up with better bull than this. Why would they want to bargain their reputation away by sharing the stage with political buffoons and bozos sent to an image-boosting circus? But the circus must go on. Apco must make the Najib administration look appetizing enough for the whole audience to want to swallow up what they throw at them!

The event will be held on 24th Feb. 2010 and it will be at K Street in Washington DC. This is where the big lobbying firms have their headquarters and is sometimes referred to as the “fourth branch of government”. But of course what is important to Umno is the fact that K Street is also called “The Road to Riches”. Now you get the drift?

The three top officials to speak at the seminar entitled “Governance and Rule of Law in Malaysia and Malaysian Legislative Initiatives” i.e., how the circus is run in Bolehland, are Minister in the PM’s Department Nazri Abdul Aziz, former chief justice Abdul Hamid Mohamad and Attorney-General Abdul Gani Patail — a powerful and perfect NAG (Nazri, Abdul Hamid & Gani) team!

They will of course have the privilege and honour of being accompanied and introduced by special envoy, senior diplomat, seasoned politician and Malaysia’s ambassador to the United States, Jamaludin Jarjis, a man who has soared to such high office as a result of his wide reputation of being very adept at grappling, gropping and getting to the bottom of things.

Nazri’s Nonsense

Nazri, the Minister in the PM’s Department, overseer of parliamentary affairs and de facto Law Minister will surely serve up a sterling performance. He has successfully and quite singlehandedly reduced Parliament, the country’s supreme law-making institution, to an annual circus, a rubber stamp and a stage for the spineless, silly, sexist and not-so-stable.

Nazri should tell the Americans how free he is to go berserk when his brains short-circuit in parliament, like when he: shouted “racist/bloody racist” at MP Kula Segaran 41 times in a space of five to 10 minutes; snapped at a wheelchair-bound Karpal Singh: “You are just jealous because I am standing!”; and screamed at Lim Kit Siang “Stupid, stupid, stupid…!” until the press gave up counting.

Perhaps Nazri could use the above as veritable examples of how supposedly vibrant and vigorous parliamentary democracy is in Bolehland. He could of course throw in the example of a wheelchair-bound Karpal Singh being surrounded by a hostile group of Umno Youth thugs (as the police and security personnel stood idly by) at the Parliament lobby!

The US has much to learn from a loudmouth and loose cannon like Nazri. He has taken Bolehland to greater heights in hype, hypocrisy, half-truths, hysterics and histrionics in Parliament in spite of the declaration of the current Speaker that “Parliament is no longer like a first-world Parliament anymore”.

Good boy, Gani

As Attorney General (AG) Gani Patail will have to paint a glossy picture of how Bolehland is guided and governed by the rule of law though almost everyone knows that it is the AG who is guided by those who rule, to decide how, when, what and which part of the law is upheld! Gani will be too shy to say, it is actually “Rule by law” and at times its more of the mob which rules!

Gani is a product of “good governance”. He has been a good boy of those who govern. They take good care of him in spite of allegations against him such as “blackmailing and extortion of the highest culpability” in Sodomy I, interference of justice in not prosecuting then Minister for International Trade and Industry Rafidah Aziz for corruption, and tampering with evidence and interfering with the investigations on the savage assault on Anwar Ibrahim.

If and when the audience grills Gani on Sodomy II will he give them a go-around? Or will he parrot the government’s pathetic reply to the international community that sodomy is an offence here? It is very offensive indeed to people’s intelligence when you speak of sodomy (under the penal code) without any penile penetration(verified by doctors)! Will Gani be providing a more penetrating view there?

Surely K Street would love to see the kangaroo courts which have become an increasingly special feature of the Malaysian judicial circus. Nazri and Gani should show how the judiciary, the very portal of justice, continues to be reduced to a convenient playground for the ruling elite to legitimize their power grab, persecute their opponents and promote their political agenda, through the perversion of the rule of law by certain court jesters.

Nazri and Gani should speak proudly on the cattle-trading culture (politically brokered judicial appointments) in the judiciary which still lingers on after both of them decided to treat the findings of the Royal Commission on the V.K. Lingam video clip case very lightly. Nazri made a laughing stock of himself as he lectured Parliament on “What may be morally wrong could be legally or politically ‘correct, correct, correct’”.

The Americans must know that ‘good governance’ reigns in our good country. A good number of politicians especially the Umnoputras have made good money in good time in doing what is “good for the people”. In their good fortune they built for themselves palatial mansions, own a fleet of posh cars and huge properties abroad, and take their families on pleasure and all-paid-for holidays and place their children in premier schools overseas.

Abdul Hamid’s Acrobatics

Poor Abdul Hamid, who was well-respected though he was an accidental Chief Justice, may have to do a few head-stands and somersaults to convince the audience that the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) which he chairs is doing a good job of curbing corruption and playing a crucial role in good governance. Since its formation, corruption worsened drastically!

Only two per cent of the respondents in a Star online live chat rated the MACC’s performance in fighting corruption as “good”. The rest frowned upon the MACC as a “monumental failure” and a farce in its task of tackling corruption. It has become a favourite tool of the Umno government to repress the opposition and its fatal flaw is that it is not politically neutral.

Since its much hyped up launch on 1 Jan. 2009 the then MACC’s chief commissioner (CC), Ahmad Said Hamdan, “has managed to put his mouth into overdrive while shifting his brains into reverse” (Tunku Aziz). He chose to retire early and will remain haunted by how he had handled the “small case” of the death of Teoh Beng Hock. As for the new CC of the MACC? Well, the public prefers to wait and see.

The Malaysian Circus in K street must of course end with a few key words on how the PM’s slogan of 1Malaysia is a resounding success, for never before has the Government, Parliament, Judiciary and institutions like the Police, Election Commission, and civil service been made to “bond” and “blend” together as One in order to bury the Opposition for good! How’s that for good governance!

Surely Nazri will proudly tell the Americans that he was right on when he declared a few years ago: “…the concept of separation of powers between the legislative, judiciary and executive is ‘too idealistic’ to be implemented in the country.’’

The nagging question still remains as to why should the NAG team waste the taxpayers money and go all the way to put up a circus when the Americans (who created Avatar, remember?) can easily make out the difference between image, illusion and reality?

Further their audience would have probably read the report by Hong Kong-based Political and Economic Risk Consultancy (PERC) which warned that Malaysia was “veering towards instability”. Then there are also the annual human rights reports on Third World countries by US-based NGOs and the US Government itself!

Alas, the threesome should have stayed back, saved the rakyat’s money and do something more fruitful or even spiritual, like join in the Prophet Muhammad’s Birthday procession organized by the Penang State Government?

  1. #1 by yhsiew on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 11:23 am

    Only “down and out” governments or governments which have “fallen by the wayside” need to promote themselves.

  2. #2 by Kasim Amat on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 11:58 am

    Who is this Martin Jalleh? I doubt his is a Malay. If he is, he is just another traitor of Malay. First of all, what benefits did the Americans give him to write this article? Do we have to change our cultures and life just to please the Americans?

  3. #3 by Comrade on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 12:06 pm

    “Alas, the threesome should have stayed back, saved the rakyak’s money and do something more fruitful or even spiritual, …………….” (Martin Jalleh)

    Yes, I agree. Instead of going to USA to talk, talk, talk to promote itself, the gov’t should have walk the talk according to the C.A.T. formula to prove to the people locally and globally that it is a gov’t of good reputation. Always remember the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.”

  4. #4 by Black Arrow on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 12:13 pm

    Martin Jalleh is East Malaysian. Why is Kasim Amat questioning whether Martin is a Malay or not? Are we not supposed to be practising 1Malaysia?

    By the way, when Muhyiddin was in UK in January this year, my British friend asked me ‘Do you send clowns worldwide?’ There you have the answer.

    Malaysian Circus has the best clowns in the world. This is indeed very embarassing but I guess we like to laugh at our own stupidity in a funny way.

  5. #5 by dagen on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 12:22 pm

    Kasim amat is the true traitor of the country. He and his kind sold our country. Sold our defence equipment. Sold our military secrets. And our passports. Our resources. Our country’s dignity by making it the butt of international joke. Sold our economy. Our education. Our safety and security at home and on the street. Sold our talents and brains. And the malay race. Yes the malay race. And culture.

    Ah yes. But we have angkasawan. Indeed. Wheeeew. Otherwise we are pharked through and through.

  6. #6 by DCLXVI on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 1:34 pm

    Kasim Amat :Who is this Martin Jalleh? I doubt his is a Malay. If he is, he is just another traitor of Malay. First of all, what benefits did the Americans give him to write this article? Do we have to change our cultures and life just to please the Americans?

    What matters is that Martin Jalleh is a concerned enough Malaysian to write the article above.
    Anyway, he is not the one who has gone to USA at the taxpayers’ expense to promote & justify Umno-BN to the Americans.
    Who knows, maybe the Minister in the PM’s Department Nazri Abdul Aziz, former chief justice Abdul Hamid Mohamad and Attorney-General Abdul Gani Patail, together with their entourage will also drop by Disneyland too.

  7. #7 by mjalleh on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 1:59 pm

    Who is this Martin Jalleh? I doubt his is a Malay.

    MJ: Saudara Kasim, it does not really matter what race I am. I am just part of the human race who loves our country Malaysia enough to want to protect it from the real “traitors”.

    First of all, what benefits did the Americans give him to write this article?

    MJ: None. How I wish someone pays me for my articles considering the time, effort and electricity that it takes to write intelligently and commitedly! Maybe you should try writing by asking the right questions first :)

    Do we have to change our cultures and life just to please the Americans?

    MJ: Sigh! That is exactly what I am saying in my article! Pl read it again slowly :)

  8. #8 by chengho on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 2:13 pm

    are u sure u are not under Kit payroll?
    u should offer ur service to the Government
    u should understand the US culture of public image and lobby group ,u are too long in the east ,go west young man.

  9. #9 by mjalleh on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 2:49 pm

    mjalleh, are u sure u are not under Kit payroll?

    MJ: Ho! Ho! Ho! chengho u really made me roll with laughter over Kit’s payroll. Nah, i am nowhere near Kit when it comes to writing. He won’t want to employ me.

    u should offer ur service to the Government

    MJ: Thanks for the suggestion but I thot you are already there, so there will be no place for me. Furthermore I am not a Malay, nor a member of Umno and I can’t be a good boy like Gani!

    u should understand the US culture of public image and lobby group

    MJ: I really do! Its just that the clowns that they are sending will end up revealing to the Americans the Umno and judicial circus that is going on here

    u are too long in the east, go west young man.

    MJ: If by east you are referring to East Malaysia, then you are wrong for I am actually a West Malaysian :) Perhaps u r too long in the west chengho, u should go to East Malaysia where 1 Malaysia really exists!
    And if you are referring to the East as in Asia, well I have been to the West long enough to know the East is still the best from the West…that was the experience of Admiral Cheng Ho who travelled to the West 7 times and made sure that he would be laid to his final rest in the East :)
    cheers to you “young man”

  10. #10 by HJ Angus on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 3:04 pm

    Kit does not do copy editing.
    “groping” is spelled with one p
    Anyone estimate how much all this will cost? I believe at least another few RMmillion as lobbyists have to be paid.
    If you watch how the Toyota executives are being grilled by the House sub-committees, this unholy trinity clowns has no chance to perusade the American public.

  11. #11 by mjalleh on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 3:13 pm

    Thanks hj for the correction. i got distracted when writing about how jj is good at getting to the bottom …

  12. #12 by Bunch of Suckers on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 3:27 pm

    Off topic….

    #8 Chengho, a mom/mama topper! You need to apologize to Aussie whites for your wrong accusations and allegations about bashing to dead of a M’sia Consulate driver living in Sydney, Australia. One of the murders, facing charges and court appearances, was Indonesian Cab driver.

    In fact, all witnesses were Aussie whites! So, mama topper, back off and bend your a*s to apologize sincerely…. Can’t blame your prejudice and stereotyping attitudes, UMNO supporter and loyalty, with chicken brain to arrive your conclusions prematurely in line with UMNO ways of decision makings….

  13. #13 by Bunch of Suckers on Wednesday, 24 February 2010 - 3:43 pm

    Chengho, mom topper! Take a closer look at

    No wonder, UMNO/BN ministers with bunch of su*kers and supporters, including you, always sucking and monkey around in the jungles without progressions under their leaderships…

  14. #14 by k1980 on Thursday, 25 February 2010 - 8:22 pm

    umno to obama: “Psst, mr president. How about you dividing the american people into tuans and pendatangs?”

    Will Obama the descendant of African slaves call himself a tuan?

  15. #15 by lopez on Thursday, 25 February 2010 - 11:02 pm

    Frank swenttenham was right all the while

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