By Kee Thuan Chye
Malaysiakini
Oct 23, 2012

I tell you, it’s tough laa being a minister these days.

We have to take so much shit. From the media, from Facebook, from bloggers, from the Opposition. It was so different when Mahathir was PM. Nobody dared to question any minister then. Nobody wrote a word to criticise. But now …

And it’s not like we make that much money. Our salary is nothing compared to Singapore. Some more, the people don’t appreciate it. They think we are getting kickbacks left, right and centre.

This recent case over Musa Aman getting RM40 million … it’s not him, the money was for Umno. Political donation. What’s wrong with that? PM Najib already said it’s proper. But people still want to make trouble and call it money laundering. Just because Michael Chia got stopped when he was bringing the money out from Hong Kong.

Some more, they are saying Michael has been giving money to Musa’s sons in Australia for a long time. You believe that? They just want to make him look bad laa. They say Musa hasn’t said anything about the RM40 million so far, but can you blame him for keeping quiet?

I think the less said the better. Nowadays, you have to be careful what you say.

Hishammuddin kena after Bersih 3.0. Remember, the media asked him why police were confiscating memory cards from media cameramen and the public? He said, “SOP.” After that, they hentam him kau-kau for talking rubbish. No respect laa. Nowadays, they don’t show ministers respect, I tell you.

We were elected, you know, and appointed by the PM. OK laa, a few were not elected, but a minister must have respect. Otherwise, how to carry out the job properly?

So now we want people to respect us more. That’s why we arrested that young man for showing his backside to the PM and his wife’s photos. Who would have dared to do this to Mahathir when he was PM? We must return to the way we did things, the way we controlled, during his time. I know on social media they are calling us a fascist state but let them call what they like. We have to mean business.

If I were Hisham, I wouldn’t want to be Home Minister. Honestly speaking. You have to take care of national security, crime and, some more, people’s safety. But you just have to say people must be responsible for their own safety against crime and they come back and bash you. You just have to say PKR must realise it is taking a risk going to Johor because it is Umno territory and the online news website distorts your words. They say you said there’s no need to guarantee the safety of PKR in Johor, and how can the Home Minister say that.

Even Borders – Borders, you know. What is it? Only a bookstore. But it is challenging Hisham in court. It is saying he acted irresponsibly. It is saying he is not telling the truth. Over what? Over a deviant book by a Canadian Muslim that Jawi seized from the bookstore. Can you believe that?

No respect, that’s the problem. Poor Yen Yen. At the Himpunan Hijau Raub, some protestors whacked her poster with their shoes. They said it was the Hong Kong style. Why follow the Hong Kong style? It’s not part of our culture.

And poor Tiong Lai finally gave up his chance to get WWW 15 for his car number plate because they kept saying he was using RM24,200 of the people’s money to make a bid for it. But he told them he was entitled to it for free. In the end, he was honourable about it, he gave it up.

See? We are all not bad laa. They still think Tiong Lai is a liar after his bad experience handling the hoo-ha at Tung Shin Hospital during Bersih 2.0, but we’re not always liars … wait! That didn’t come out right. We don’t lie. We don’t lie. PM Najib said it best when he said, “The Government doesn’t know how to cheat the people.”

The people must realise that. They must realise we always try our best. Like Rais. He’s an old-timer. He has served the country so long, but still they hentam him. They made fun of him for writing the lyrics of ‘Janji Ditepati’. OK lah, he’s not a professional songwriter but he has good intentions.

He did so much to make ‘Himpunan Merdeka’ a success, to unite the people in a big celebration, to set a new world record for the number of tweets, and what did they do to him on Facebook? They ran a big picture of him with the caption “The world’s greatest …” I better not say laa. You see? Too much laa these people.

Two years ago, he made that remark about changing his mode and they put it on youtube and made all sorts of funny comments about him. And then they even tried to spin a false story alleging that he raped his Indonesian maid. Tak habis-habis.

They like all this sordid sex stuff. Shafie Apdal also they tried to dirty. Not enough they said he had a mistress. They also said he gave her RM1.5 million over three years.

Remember in the ’80s, there were strong rumours that a deputy minister was connected with the murder of his mistress? Nothing came out on that in the media. It was all just khabar-khabar angin. People didn’t dare come out in the open then. No one was ever charged for the murder. The deputy minister even got promoted to full minister.

But now even Nazri’s son – apa nama? … unh, Nedim – is dragged out in public. They demand to know why no criminal case against the boy for assaulting the condo security supervisor. They said CCTV showed Nedim strangling the man and punching him on the head. But police said CCTV showed Nedim was not involved. Who should you believe? Would the police lie? No way, right? Some more, Hisham has already said the case has been amicably settled. So it’s clear already lah.

Then they want to know about the murder of Darren Kang in 2004. That is old story laa. Police found that Nedim was not involved. And five Thais have already convicted for the murder. Habis cerita. Why are they still focusing on Nazri’s son?

No minister is safe any more laa. Even Najib. When the schoolboy asked him to give an example of Najis Mughallazah at some recent exhibition, there was a video recording of it that went viral – to show the world Najib couldn’t answer. Malu la! I mean malu in that it’s telling the whole world something so trivial. Some more, they played it up. Put on youtube. Said the PM didn’t know shit. What for?

The worst is what they are doing to the grand old man himself. Every time Mahathir says something, he’s sure to kena. Shameful laa the comments they write about him on social media and online news websites. The man is 87 years old. He used to be PM. In our culture, we must respect senior people.

But no. He said American mothers are whores, they hentam. A vote for Pakatan is a vote for Soros, they hentam. It’s okay to give ICs to illegal immigrants in Sabah, they hentam.

And because he said it is better for the people to vote for the devil they know, now people are calling us “devils”.

We are here to serve the people laa. We are not devils.

I don’t know la. If we win GE13 also, we will find it hard to govern after that. Every little thing only, they want to protest in the street. Even with PAA, they don’t care. Police say no, they still come out. For the next five years, they will be fighting us, watching us like hawks. Sometimes, I feel I want to give up.

* Kee Thuan Chye is the author of the bestselling book No More Bullshit, Please, We’re All Malaysians, available in bookstores together with its Malay translation, Jangan Kelentong Lagi, Kita Semua Orang Malaysia.