(For a laugh. Thanks Huang for forwarding the following email:)
Who says our English is teruk.? Just see below –
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective etc:
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you. Malaysians: No Stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago? Malaysians: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way? Malaysians: S-kew me
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me. Malaysians:No-need, lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door? Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home. Malaysians: Don’t be shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don’t recall you giving me the money. Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind. Malaysians: Don’t want la…
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue. Malaysians: You mad, ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I’m trying to concentrate over here. Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you? Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment. Malaysians: Die-lah!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened? Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that….
WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn’t the way to do it, here let me show you, Malaysians: like that also don’t know how to do!!!!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me Malaysians: Celaka u
IN PARLIAMENT, THE QUESTION ON “BOCOR”
Briton: Where is the leak? I shall ask the Works Minister to look into it. Malaysian: STUPID, STUPID, STUPID question. Where got “bocor” ?