Excerpts from Melney & Sydbourne SumTimes

Every year in September, Melbourne hosts its Royal Melbourne Show. It is a regular feature in the show to have livestock of various kinds paraded for public display. These livestock could include ayam, kambing, kerbau of varied breeds.

This year there is to be a consignment of ‘livestock’ from Malaysia. Apparently, it has been a rather late decision by the organisers to now include the Malaysian specimen. Rumour has it that there was a bit of arm-twisting behind the scenes before this shocking decision. Undisclosed sources said what’s surprising about the incoming foreign ‘livestock’ was the batch of frogs. They are due to arrive on or around 16 September.

It is widely believed that these 40 or more frogs had been in quarantine in Malaysia for some time. This measure was taken out of fear that they will multiply rapidly if allowed to be free in their natural surroundings. Like their northern Australian counterparts, the cane-toads, these frogs are noted for their leaping prowess and have the ability to irk authorities from time to time. It has taken no less than the government of Malaysia to step in and take precautionary measures to corral these frogs, regarded as delinquents, and to seclude them to far away land especially at a time when the government is going through a trough in its biorhythmic cycle. Once noted for frog-worshipping, the government of Malaysia had recently developed a very rare and acute form of ranidaphobia.

Unnamed ‘shrinks’ have attributed this fear to two traumatic incidents the first of which occurred in March 2008 when several top leaders had nightly nightmares of amputated frogs on wheelchairs, led by a Pied Piper who was once inflicted with a black-eyed injury, chanting and singing to the tunes of very haunting songs demanding their rightful prosthetic legs. The second traumatic incident involved the appearance of apparitions in the form of strong-legged frogs occurring in the northern regions of Malaysia some time in late August this year. But it was rumoured that some ‘secret bomoh’ (witch-doctor) who had conducted ‘milk-bath’ rituals for some noted VIPs had interpreted these nightmares and apparitions as omens of imminent retribution for their past heinous deeds.

It is not known how these frogs will survive the spring weather in Melbourne. Bigger questions have been asked about their reaction to this peculiar quarantine in particular how their sensitive nictitating membrane would take to Melbourne’s spring air laden with pollen from the blooming wattle and stone fruit trees. Seasonal rhinitis similar to the human affliction might well compromise their respiratory organs. However, some frog breeders believe that these frogs might turn out to be stronger. The variety and number of insects present during this spring season, breeders say, would suit these frogs to build stronger muscles in their hind legs.

In the final analysis, a more nightmarish outcome awaits the party responsible for the frog sojourn for if the breeders are correct, the frog will return home more resilient having honed their leaping skills in their new environment. Otherwise, a returning batch of frogs carrying unknown influences of a new environment could pose unforeseen hazards. If however the frogs were abandoned at the end of the show, the ever vociferous animal rights group here will definitely make a meal of this and yet again tarnish the reputation of the government of Malaysia which in recent days had been in a tailspin of sorts.