“Someone has been very naughty ;-) but strangely, malaysiakini didn’t report this, though the Star Online has.

It seems that someone had doctored photographs showing several Perak DAP leaders as if they were engaged in sexual acts. Obviously the pornographic photos were mischievously achieved by superimposing the faces of DAP leaders like Fong Po Kuan (Batu Gajah MP), Ngeh Koo Ham (Sitiawan MLA), Nga Kor Ming (Pantai Remis MLA) and Keong Meng Sing (Menglembu MLA) on those of actual tiger men and/or tigress women.

That person also sent those dodgy photos to the Chinese press which are well known for their proclivity towards reporting and publishing juicy scandals. However, as I don’t read Chinese newspapers myself, it’s still not known whether they did publish the pornographic images.

Needless to say, DAP members have not been at all impressed by the dodgy artistic creativity.

Let’s leave out the more detailed description of the photos and the DAP’s call to the police to trace the trouble maker (who, because the DAP has been the victim, is not expected to move with lightning speed).

Frankly, if anyone had asked, I would have told him/her that DAP members (at least those real dedicated ones) won’t indulge in such salacious acts. They aren’t the people with that kind of attitude or inclination.

I even suspect that one of the criteria for joining the DAP, or more exactly, to become a DAP leader, would be for one to be completely serious, minus humour, or the sort of easy humour that you and I would normally possess.

When one is without humour, it would usually be more likely that one would be a prude as well – characteristics that may well resemble those of early fundamentalist Protestant values.

As I had once remarked when the DAP ‘retreated’ recently to Cameron Highlands for their strategic planning (for the next general election) they were unlikely to be playing mahjong or pa’ kau. Yes, they are like that.

I imagine everyone there was dead serious, and the only thrill or excitement they might have been driven to would probably be, just as a KTemoc imagined example ;-), when they discovered a missing comma on the text of the distributed agenda.

Again I am imagining of course – but probably one member would secretly think of that typo: “Scandalous, how could such an error occur. Oh dear, I can’t wait to tell my wife this juicy bit.”

Another would, I suppose, valiantly restrain his smirk but daringly pontificate silently to himself: “Good lord, what the world has become. I must speak to the Secretary General immediately after this, or shall I call for a motion for censure against the party’s typist for such an unmitigated error.”

No doubt he agonised long over that decision (to censure the typist) ;-)

And undoubtedly, the party top leaders would be squirming, red faced, at such an unthinkable drastic mistake.

Yeah, hardly the type to be indulging in blissful grunts, moans and various yoga-ish postures.

I know I shouldn’t but I just wonder (rather wildly, I admit – KTemoc has a vivid imagination) how such people, well, those who are married ones of course, would approach their spouses for matrimonial conjugation?

Applications submitted in triplicates with at least 3 days notice? With no typos please!

I heard one special guest to the DAP strategic planning workshop in Cameron highlands had entreated the DAP leaders to ‘lighten up’ a wee bit, to smile a little, even to take up some sports, like say, tennis or horse-riding, or maybe read Shakespeare because there’s lots of humour in Shakespeare – stuff like ‘Brutus, Brutus, wherefore art thou’ ;-) and ‘Et tu, Romeo’ – imagine the Grand Ole Man saying that, or would he be saying instead: “Out, damn’d spot! out, I say”?

Then there is of course that famous Shakespearean advice in his Henry VI: ‘Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all.’

Yes, I think the DAP leaders should take up his advice, though not on the last quotation of ‘Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all’. That’s reserved for a special someone.

And I suppose Lim KS or Lim GE would refuse the suggestion to travel in a chauffeured Mercedes, apart from the likelihood they won’t have the money to buy such an expensive limousine.