Hi Kit Siang

I’m not sure if you’ll be reading this, or even why exactly I’m writing to you; but like other times after reading about the happenings in Malaysia through your blog, I am saddened and moved from deep within.

Allow me to introduce myself. I was born in Johor, in 1983 – making me 24 years of age this year. From a young age, from primary (or standard one) I studied in Singapore. Instantly, this placed me into a group of ‘forgotten Malaysians’ of which I still belong to today – do read on. I did not study in Singapore by choice, my parents decided to see put me there when I was 7, because being part of the Malaysia school system when the British system was employed -they were alarmed by the perceived drops in the levels of education in Malaysia at that time – and they really wanted me to grow up speaking good English…and Singapore was the closest country to have its curriculum in English at that time. I’m sure you can appreciate the incredible irony in Malaysia reversing on its decision years ago and teaching Math and Science in English now. And while I am most capable of invoking my own commentary and discourse on the subject and others like it, I shall resist the urge and refrain from doing so on this occasion, as I nevertheless will find myself doing throughout the rest of this email – as each instance of the incredulous policies and politicians that dominate our country come up.

But I digress. I studied in Singapore a full ten years, travelling DAILY from Johor Bahru, not residing in Singapore because, I guess, my parents wanted me to retain my unique Malaysian identity and “Malaysianess”. I do not have fond memories of my time in the country, although I did well at school, I guess, I dislike autocratic and freedom-curbing societies where the rights of the individual are sacrificed for the whims of the elected collective in the name of nation-building. That is not to say I do not understand the need for such measures at certain times – but I suppose I do not function well in countries where such practices are the norm.

At the end of my high school studies in Singapore, I made the decision to return to Malaysia. To study at a private college in KL. I had tried on past occasions when I was in high school, to do so, only to find out that I was not eligible to do so because I did not take Bahasa Melayu as my primary subject. As a result of studies in Singapore, where English was the medium of instruction and Mandarin was my ‘mother tongue’, I cannot speak fluent Malay to this day nor do I have the ability to write in it. Therefore, according to some quarters, I am not considered Malaysian. But was I to blame? I remained in KL a full 3 years, was one of the top students at my college for a worldwide course, until it was time for me to pursue my education overseas.

I love Malaysia. I consider myself patriotic. I was and remain a staunch defender of its uniqueness and the beauty of the country and its people. Well, most of them. I grew up reading The Star, NSTP and the like. I read most of our former PM’s books and took in every shred of reasoning he and others gave for the obvious disparity between the races. I quoted and defended the NEP on the classic grounds the policy being of “wealth creation” and not “wealth redistribution.” My family and friends would laugh, sniggle and sigh. Up till then, I was colour-blind, but as case after case of blatant discrimination occurred, our dear politicians made me unsure for a good deal of time.

Then I made the move overseas…and realised what I had left behind. I had left behind a country full of life and colour, of some of the best examples of racial harmony and understanding anywhere in the world. Malaysia at her best is truly a beautiful country. But living in a different country opened my eyes to what I had also left behind; a flawed and made-up democracy, weak institutions, institutionalized racism, hypocrisy and worse of all – a country living in denial. The former can be defended on the grounds of “a country in progress”, the latter is indefensible. I liken it to a child growing out of his adolescence. When a young child behaves badly, you can excuse him on the grounds of “he doesn’t know any better.” For example, if he throws tantrums and has no regard for authority, that can be instructed in the child as he grows. But the realisation and acknowledgement of his wrongdoing is vitally important – as he gets older, the same excuses simply cannot be sustained. Granted, we are a young country – but it has been close to 50 years of denial. Of the fact that it is a democracy. That its media is free. That its institutions are fair. That everyone has similar opportunities. That it respects and abides by the Constitution and rule of law. That there exists freedom of religion and speech – and I’m just brushing the tip of the iceberg here. Doubtless, some would say I have been ‘corrupted by Western influences’ – but to confine such basic human elements to a Western nature is the classic disservice that Malaysians do unto themselves. At the expense of the discomfort and fear of change, such people choose to remain myopic and backward.

It took a lot for me to critically examine my own country for its failings and admit to them. To study political science and understand the true meanings and contexts of fundamental political concepts, frameworks of democracy, rule of law and associated concepts. I measured where Malaysia was in relation to these fundamental principles – and the result was a gut-wrenching, painful admission from a proud Malaysian that his country wasn’t all he thought it was – or likely to be if the culture of apathy and denial prevails.

As long as the ‘minority’ ethnic community in Malaysia continues to remain inert, apathetic, uneducated and disempowered to evoke even the most fundamental of changes (by voting in the right manner), wherein lies the mechanism and hope for change? How many more UMNO general assemblies do we need to see the true intentions of the ruling party? That last word is deliberately in the form of the singular. If only the MCA, Gerakan, MIC etc had more guts – and stop just surviving – and start living.

My intentions and comments do not come out of a desire to establish a race-dominated government of any sort. It is to create a truly representative and responsible government, one that recognises the importance of the abidance and adherence to the sovereign Constitution, that respects the rule of law, where all have access to equal educational, job and wealth opportunities and is colour-blind to the extent that it does not discriminate on the grounds of race, religion, sexual orientation — and yet, celebrates the incredible cultural diversity our country has been blessed with – and not use it to instil fear and bigotry in its people. It is in fact, repulsive and disappointing to me that close to 50 years after independence, we continue to have political parties that are divided along racial lines and not on solid ideology and sound policies.

Until then, what IS there for a Malaysian like me to go back to? Pray tell. I belong to a “minority” ethnic group, I do not speak strong BM and as a result, I’m sure the opportunities in my own country are vast indeed. Yet, I was the one top students at my university, hold a B.Econs (Hons), a M.A (International Relations), have been published academically and am working for the Australian government in delivering policies and bottom-line savings to the economy. And I’m just at the beginning of my career. I say all this not out of pride, but out of disappointment – where I want to be and can be most effective, my land of birth – I have little future.

I have great admiration and utmost respect for your work and all that you’ve laboured/struggled for Kit Siang. Sure you’ve made mistakes – we all have – but I respect the way you’ve come out of them. I’ve always belonged to a class of ‘forgotten Malaysians’ – once when I studied in Singapore, because I can’t speak BM, because I left my country to study abroad and haven’t returned. But I haven’t forgotten my country; I never will. But as much as I love Malaysia, does it remember me…and the many others like me? I do not expect an answer to that question.

I’m not expecting a response – I guess I now understand why I’ve taken the trouble to write such a long email to you. I want you to know, you have people on your side of the struggle. That as much as it holds nothing for me to go back, perhaps one day, I will…because at the heart of me, I am Malaysian… and stand for all things truly Malaysian.

Kind regards,

W.O.